Diana Rouse 
Kaufman
908-709-1228                                                                               
drkaufman@home.com

Course Title: Unfinished Business: Recovering from 
Divorce

Course Description:  This course will inform and educate 
participants in the mental, emotional and spiritual 
processes of divorce. We will search current 
psychological theory as well as the Bahá'í Writings for 
guidance on dealing with consequences of divorce both 
for the parents and the children.

Intended audience:  Divorced or separated individuals 
and those who serve on assemblies and who counsel 
Bahá'ís who are facing or have experienced divorce; 
parents who are concerned about their children's recovery 
from divorce.

Course Objectives:  The object of this course is to aid 
individuals in the recovery of spiritual, mental and 
emotional health following the experience of divorce. 
Given the Bahá'í teachings on the subject, the experience 
of divorce presents some unique challenges for Bahá'ís to 
overcome. The goal is for those Bahá'ís facing or 
recovering from divorce to be able to remain firm and 
steadfast in the Covenant and to protect their children 
from lasting emotional and spiritual damage.

Course Content:
1.	Review of Bahá'í teachings on marriage, including 
choice of marriage partner, family unity, consent 
issues
2.	Review of Bahá'ú'lláh's statements on divorce; 
discussion of emotional aspects of the divorce 
experience, including grief, fear, anxiety, anger; 
spiritual aspects such as isolation, inactivity, shame, 
embarrassment.
3.	Consultation with the Assembly and/or professional 
counselors; initiation of a year of patience; defining 
and understanding the purpose and function of a year 
of patience; purpose of legal counsel.
4.	Focus on the effects of divorce on children:  
Adjustment differences between boys and girls; 
understanding the influence of the child's age on 
his/her adjustment; short-term and long-term 
adjustment of children; helping your adult children to 
understand and have faith in the sacred institution of 
marriage
5.	Remarriage; step-families; avoiding common pitfalls 
of unrealistic expectations; returning to a healthy 
community life

Methods of Teaching:
?	Lecture/Discussion
?	Designated readings
?	Group assignments and presentations  
?	Role Play 

Methods of Evaluation:
Participants will be asked to complete an evaluation 
form at the end of the program. 


Bibliography on Self Development, Parenting 
and Families

Bahá'í Marriage and Family Life. National Spiritual 
Assembly of the Bahá'ís of Canada (1983).

Bennett-Goleman, T. (2001). Emotional Alchemy: How 
the Mind Can Heal the Heart.    New York: 
Harmony Books. 

Blau, M. (1993). Families Apart: Ten Keys to Successful 
Co-Parenting.  New York: Perigree Books.

Bloomfield, H. & Felder, L. (1985). Making Peace With 
Your Parents.  New York: Ballantine Books.

Briggs, D.C. (1975). Your Child's Self-Esteem.  New 
York: Doubleday.

Campbell, R. (1977). How to Really Love Your Child.  
Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books.

Cohen, M.G. (1989). Long-Distance Parenting: A Guide 
for Divorced Parents. NY: Penguin.

Covey, S. (1997). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective 
Families.  New York: Golden Books.

Danesh, H.B. (1979). The Violence-Free Society: A Gift 
for Our Children. Ottawa: The Canadian 
Association for Studies on the Bahá'í Faith.

Danesh, H.B. (1995). The Violence-Free Family: Building 
Block of a Peaceful Civilization. Ottawa: Bahá'í 
Studies Publications.

Divorce.  Research Department of the Universal House of 
Justice (1986).

Equality of the Sexes: A Bahá'í Principle. National 
Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of the Republic 
of Ireland (1990).

Feuer, J. (1997). Good Men: A Practical Handbook for 
Divorced Dads. NY: Avon Books.

Frankl, V. (1963). Man's Search for Meaning. New York: 
Washington Square Press.

Fromm, E. (1956). The Art of Loving. New York: Harper 
& Row (Colophon).

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. New York: 
Bantam.

Khavari, K.A. & Khavari, S.W. (1989). Creating a 
Successful Family.  Oxford: One World 
Publications.

Khavari, K.A. & Khavari, S.W.(1993). Together Forever. 
Oxford: One World Publications.
Kurzius, B. (1995). Fire & Gold: Benefiting From Life's 
Tests. Oxford: George Ronald.

Lerner, H.G. (1985). The Dance of Anger: A Woman's 
Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate 
Relationships. New York: Harper & Row 
(Perennial).

McGoldrick, M. (1995). You Can Go Home Again: 
Reconnecting With Your Family.  New York: 
W.W. Norton & Co.

Nissildine, W.H. (1991). Your Inner Child of the Past.  
New York: Pocket Books.

Paul, J. & Paul, M. (1983). Do I Have to Give Up Me to 
Be Loved By You? Minneapolis: CompCare 
Publishers.

Peck, M.S. (1978).  The Road Less Traveled.  New York: 
Simon and Schuster.

Pipher, M. (1994). Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Lives of 
Adolescent Girls. New York: Ballantine Books.

Pipher, M. (1996).  The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding 
Our Families.  New York:  G.P. Putnam's Sons.

Rosin, M.B. (1988). Stepfathering.  New York: Ballantine 
Books.

Satir, V. (1988).  The New Peoplemaking.  Mountain 
View, CA: Science and Behavior Books, Inc.

Shapiro, J.L. (1995). The Measure of a Man: Becoming 
the Father You Wish Your Father Had Been. New 
York: Perigree Books.

Sheehy, G. (1984). Passages.  New York: Bantam Books.

Tannen, D. (1987). You Just Don't Understand: Women 
and Men in Conversation.  New York: Ballantine.

Wallerstein, J.S. & Blakeslee, S. (1989).  Second 
Chances: Men, Women, and Children a Decade 
After Divorce.  New York: Ticknor & Fields.

Wallerstein, J.S. & Blakeslee, S. (1995).  The GOOD 
Marriage: How & Why Love Lasts.  New York:  
Houghton Mifflin.

Wallerstein, J.S. & Kelly, J.B. (1980).  Surviving the 
Break-Up: How Children and Parents Cope With 
Divorce.  New York: Basic Books, Inc.

Wallerstein, J.S. & Blakeslee, S. (2000). The Unexpected 
Legacy of Divorce. Hyperion.

Women. Research Department of the Universal House of 
Justice (1986).